Saturday, March 27, 2010

Coastal Living

I stumbled across a magazine today titled Coastal Living.  Before rational thought could intervene, what came to mind was "Hey!  I live on the coast."  While true - I do live on the coast, my coast is not the coast portrayed in the magazine.  The coast portrayed in the magazine looks lovely: particularly lovely being spring break season; particularly lovely me being in Alaska in the middle of the winter (regardless of the fact that it's officially the second day of spring); and particularly lovely that it's fifty and sunny in Minnesota and everyone there feels it necessary to advertise that fact all over the Internet.

Whatever.

Here's to my coast.  While swimming in the water is unrealistic, walking on the water is quite nice.  Frozen solid, the Bering Sea is quite striking.  Walking out from shore shows a vista of Tununak that is quite impressive.  The cliffs to the north and the hills to the south shrink the village in comparison.  The fact that I am truly isolated on the edge of nowhere in rural Alaska asserts itself again, reminding me of a reality I still have trouble grasping.  Unable to grasp this fact may explain the trouble I have expressing the feeling that comes over me whenever I glimpse my reality.

Whatever.

Here's to my reality.  Unable to grasp my reality I cannot evaluate my situation.  "How's Alaska?" is a common question.  I have know idea.  I'm employed.  That's good.  I am not unhappy.  That's good.  I'm not unreasonably homesick.  That's good.  I'm learning a lot about everything.  That's good.  And so my response is typically "Good."  Recently, upon receiving next year's contract and using this response, I signed on for another year.  That's good.

Yep.

Another year should be good.  Good for my teaching, good for my students, good for my long-term professional goals.  It's just a hard decision to make because it isn't good for many other things I want to be doing - things I spend a lot of time trying not to think about.  Things like hanging out with friends and family. Things like biking and gardening.

Huh.